Self concept and its management
Prof. Roomana N. Siddiqui Chairperson
Department of Psychology AMU
Self refers to the image which an individual has about himself or herself.
According to Rogers self concept is the collection of attitudes, judgments, and values which an individual holds with respect to his behavior, his ability, his body, his worth as a person. In short it refers to how an individual perceives himself.
Cooley defined self as everything that an individual designates as his own and to which the individual refers with the personal pronouns of “I”, “ME: and “MYSELF”.
He gave the concept of “ the looking-glass-self” according to which we react to ourselves by anticipating how others will react to us, that is, we see ourselves through the eyes of others.
The realization of a self develops only in a social group because selves exist in relation to other selves (Mead).
Sullivan was of the opinion that a few ‘Significant Others’ have a much stronger effect on Self which often is the mothering one. The self system develops out of a desire of the child to gain approval and avoid disapproval and by internalizing the values of the mother figure the child is able to correct his own tendencies that may incurs disapproval.
Experiences that are rewarded or approved by the mother constitutes the “Good Me”, those that were moderately disapproved make the “Bad me’ and those experiences which were intensely disapproved make the ‘Not me”. It is the Not Me that is linked to anxiety and psychopathology.
Rogers believed that every person has multiple selves as he divided the self into two categories: the ideal self and the real self:
The ideal self is the person that you would like to be based on our own expectations as well as others expectations. It is what you
aspire to be.
The Real self is the person you actually are and this includes the Real self and the ideal self
Based on the information which one has about oneself we form an image of our self, often referred to as Real self, perceived self or Actual Self.
On the basis of our experience in the social world we also form a notion of what is expected from us, by our parents, peers,
significant others and society at large. For example based on the expectations and norms of the society we do have a notion of the Ideal Self.
What is Incongruence?
Incongruence is a discrepancy between the actual and the Ideal , for example, sometimes people say something but their non verbal cues are totally contradictory to what they are saying, so when a persons words don’t match what they feel and think it is a state of incongruence. When a person looks tired but when asked she says with a smile that she is fine, this is a state of incongruence.
It is a state of discrepancy, where there is a mismatch between two states, so that one does not align well with the other.
When there is a gap between the Actual Self and the Ideal Self then it is a state of incongruence
When the Ideal self is almost similar to he Actual self then it is a state of congruence.
We want to feel, experience and behave in ways which are consistent with our self-image and which reflect what we would like to be, our ideal-self.
The closer our self image/Actual self and ideal-self are to each other, the more consistent or congruent we are.
High congruence leads to a greater sense of self-worth and a healthy, productive life. Children who get unconditional positive regard, or unconditional love experience greater congruence.
“As persons are accepted and prized, they tend to develop a more caring attitude towards themselves” (Rogers, 1980).
Incongruence on the other hand often leads to a state of anxiety, frustration, and stress. It is tension producing and may cause incomprehensible and discordant behavior. This state of incongruence leads to low self worth and maladjustments.
As we prefer to see ourselves in ways that are consistent with our self-image, we may use defence mechanisms like denial or repression in order to feel less threatened by some of what we consider to be our undesirable feelings.
A person whose self-concept is incongruent with her or his real feelings and experiences will defend because truth hurts.
Managing the Social Self
Self Enhancement: When self esteem is low or threatened people often try to compensate it by focusing on and publicly affirming positive aspects of who they are by either boasting or dropping hints. Example if somebody criticises your handwriting you might retort and say you are a great singer.. Self affirmation rests on people’s need to maintain a global image of themselves as competent, good, capable and so on.
Basking in reflected glory: people often try to raise their self esteem by associating themselves with groups or people who are very successful. Example if a group performs well in which the person himself has not participated but simply by associating with that group he can derive positive self-concept from the achievements of the group.
Ingratiation: Through ingratiation people try to convince others that they are likable. Common tactic used by ingratiators are to say nice things about you, agree to your opinion, do favours for us, engage in flattery and display positive personal characteristics.
Sometimes ingratiation may backfire specially when your audience knows that you are trying to manipulate tem and hence they start distrusting you.
Self promotion: people try to convince others that they are very competent, either on some general ability like intelligence or specific ability like good in sports. They often try to take the lead in conversation, often telling others about their strengths and attempting to impress others with their accomplishments. This is not the same as ingratiation. With ingratiation, we are trying to get people to like us. With self-promotion, we are trying to get people to think we are capable, intelligent, or talented.
Exemplification: Through exemplification, people attempt to create the impression that they are morally superior, virtuous, or righteous. Exemplification is often portrayed by exaggerating the degree to which one has suffered poor treatment at the hands of others or has endured excessive hardships.
Supplication: Through this strategy a person advertises his weakness and dependence on others. In this case the person is seeking sympathy and will sometimes exaggerate their incompetence and frailties if doing so gets them what they want.
Intimidation: Through intimidation a person tries to arouse fear by creating the image of a dangerous person. An employer, for example, might want to be viewed as tough, powerful, or ruthless because they think that without having a tough image they will not be able to command respect from his subordinates or colleagues.
